How to become a 'classic footballer'

This blog is somewhat of an instructional post - a recipe, if you will - on how to, in the future, be labelled a 'classic footballer'. If you've come to the conclusion that you're never going to be a shining Premiership star, and instead are destined to wallow in the lower reaches of the league, then all is not lost. Here are some tips on how to achieve 'classic footballer-ness', or to keep with the culinary theme, the ingredients of a reminiscent dish.

1. Have a funny, or memorable name - It might sound simple, but this works. In his six-season stint in the Premier League playing for Leicester City and Liverpool, Guadelopean-born goalkeeper Pegguy Arphexad made just 23 appearances, but his unusual name and his incredible bench-warming ability, mean he qualifies to be a 'classic footballer'. Another player who makes it onto the list through their name alone is one-time Liverpool centre half Phil Babb. Despite making nearly 400 appearances in a 16-year career, it's unfortunate that Babb, whose surname when spelt 'bab' is defined by the Urban Dictionary as West Yorkshire slang for 'Poo, shit, crap, turd', will always be remembered for this nutcracker. Ouch.

Other examples: Titi Camara, Gilles 'Bob' De Bilde and Muzzy Izzet.

Phil Babb: a prime example of how a name earns you cult status.

Photo: Gareth Irvine via Flickr

2. Being foreign helps - Although there are many 'classic footballers' from the British Isles - Steve Howey, Jason Dodd and Clive Mendonca to name just three - if you are from somewhere else in the world, you have an obvious advantage over home-grown contenders. For example, after finishing 15th in the Premier League in 1998-99, then-Coventry City manager Gordon Strachan secured somewhat of a coup for the club by managing to bring in Moroccan internationals Mustapha Hadji and Youssef Chippo for the 1999-2000 season. The pair, along with Southampton's Hassan Kachloul, were the first Moroccans to grace the Premier League, meaning all three safely book their places on the 'classic footballer' plane.

Other examples: Daniel Amokachi (Nigeria), Temuri Ketsbaia (Georgia) and Ali Benarbia (Algeria).

3. Can't be that good - Although all 'classic footballers' were at one point Premier League players, a couple of key requirements in order to join the illustrious club is to be not that good and not that famous. The whole point of 'classic footballers' is to bring up blasts from the past, and to make people go, "I'd forgotten about him!", so you've got a bit of work to do when the best names you can think of are Eric Cantona, Dennis Bergkamp and Mark Hughes. You're far more likely to be accepted onto the list if your career screams mediocrity and averageness. Therefore for obvious reasons, players with more than a handful of international caps for a 'big' nation are generally not considered to be 'classic footballers', with one of the only exceptions I can think of being Carlton Palmer, who I was shocked to read notched up an astonishing 18 caps for England between 1992 and 1993. Is there any wonder we didn't qualify for USA '94?

Other examples: Andy Impey, Philippe Albert and Craig Hignett.

4. Flops have automatic entry - Since its inception in 1992, there have been thousands of players to have appeared in the Premier League. Some of them are forgotten almost instantly, and fade away into obscurity rather quickly, but there are others whose mark on English football is not one of pleasure and delight, but one of sheer awfulness. In 2007, The Times compiled a list of the top 50 worst footballers of the modern era and it's safe to say that all of the players mentioned make it onto someone's 'classic footballer' list. Prime examples are Leeds' Swedish forward Tomas Brolin, Fulham's French striker Steve Marlet, who was signed for a ridiculous £13million (and no, that's not a mis-print) and perhaps the most famous flop of all, Ali Dia.

Other examples: Massimo Taibi, Stephane Guivarc'h and Corrado Grabbi.

For those unaware of Dia's story, this video will help:

Ali Dia: The Premier League's greatest ever con-man.

5. Cannot be still playing Premier League football - This point is somewhat debatable, as it depends on how old are you as to the status of the 'classic footballers'. For instance, I'm 20, therefore the majority of players I reminisce about plied their trade in the Premier League in the mid-to-late 1990s and the early 2000s. It's not set in stone, though, so there is a bit of leeway in this one. There will be occasions when watching Soccer Saturday when a player crops up and you're shocked at his longevity within the footballing world. Such a thing happened to me yesterday when watching Charlton Athletic (incidentally a 'classic team', but that's another blog) play Spurs in the FA Cup. Captaining Charlton was 37-year-old Christian Dailly - the one-time Blackburn, Derby and West Ham defender. Not only was I shocked that he was still turning out for someone, I was also appalled at the fact that Blackburn, my team, paid over £5million for him in 1998. Something else which might surprise you is to learn that the ex-Watford striker Gifton Noel-Williams is only 30-years-old, and still playing for Dallas-Fort Worth Tornados in America. Incredible.

Other examples: Raimond van der Gouw (still played regularly in Holland's second division up until 2007, at the age of 44), John Curtis (now aged 32 and playing for Gold Coast United in Australia) and Jari Litmanen (now aged 39 and playing for Lahti in Finland).

So that's it - a definitive guide into becoming a cult hero in around 10 years time. Obviously there are contradictions and exceptions to each of these tips, but if you follow at least one of the five points, you are bound to be sewn into the cloth of football folklore for many years to come.

Further reading: If you follow me on Twitter, I occasionally tweet using the #classicfootballers hashtag, so look out for that, and get involved as well! Also, if you have Facebook and are interested in 'classic footballers', this group is a good place to start.

The Alex and Loz Show

Hello everyone. How are we all? It's been a while since I updated this blog: over three months in fact. I thought it was about time I came back into the world of blogging after my extended, but unintentional hiatus.

Since we last spoke... I say 'spoke', but we didn't really 'speak' as such did we? It was more of a, 'I write it, you read it' kind of thing. Anyway, since I last blogged (that's better) I've become part of a duo broadcasting on an internet-based radio station. My 'partner in crime', so to speak, is Loz, who you may remember from some of my other blogs. As I type this, we've already done one show, with the other going out tomorrow. Oh, I should mention the radio station really shouldn't I? It's called 1Radio and it's described as...

"... a fresh new internet radio station featuring a variety of genres and presenters. With the newest radio talent and a varied mix of programmes, you're sure to find something different, interesting and quite unexpected."

So that's basically it. Tune in tomorrow (Tuesday 23rd March) at 6pm if you like listening to random, pointless drivel.

I was going to end the blog with the generic, "I will blog more from now on", but at the end of the day, that never happens. So if I decide to update this blog soon, fair enough: you're in luck, but if I don't, I didn't promise anything. Win, win.

My first rejection letter

If you read my last blog update, you will know that I applied to become Tranmere Rovers' manager based on my achievements on Football Manager. It's been over a month since I sent the letter, and I've still heard nothing. Les Parry is their caretaker manager until the end of the season though, so I'm thinking they might reply in the summer.

I decided to send a couple more applications, and Sheffield Wednesday and Cheltenham Town were the only two teams without a manager, so they were the two sides I would apply to. This was less than a week ago, and look what came in the post this morning...


I was genuinely excited when I opened it, despite the disappointing news. All I can think is that they must've found someone with more experience than me. I just hope they don't live to regret the decision. One down, ninety-one to go...

Sir Alex Blackburne; the messiah of Tranmere Rovers?

For over 15 years, millions of football fans across the globe have been living out their managerial-shaped dreams in a computer game. The game in question, Football Manager, has become such an important part of our sporting culture, that it's now hard to imagine life without it.

Since its development in 1992, Football Manager has continued on a yearly basis to attract men, women and children of all ages, myself included, with its realistic and immensely addictive gameplay, to the point where it begins to take over your life.

The newest edition in the series, Football Manager 2010, was released last month, and as with every updated version; it's more detailed, more realistic, better looking and ultimately even more addictive. This got me thinking how realistic it actually is. If, for example, someone can guide Northwich Victoria all the way from the Conference North to become champions of Europe on the game; does that mean they could do it in real life as well?

The only way this could be answered is for a successful Football Manager user to be installed as manager of an actual football club, but a Chairman who had any ounce of sense would surely laugh off any applications from such people. However, this has been attempted before; in 2006 John Boileau applied to be Middlesbrough's new manager based on what he'd achieved in his Football Manager career. Their Chairman, Steve Gibson, was charmingly humorous about the application, sending a letter back stating that John was "the outstanding candidate" but that the club had decided against his appointment, as his "undoubted talent would result in one of the big European clubs seeking [his] services."

This is what I was going to do; apply to a manager-less club and see what happened. I decided to draw up a 'Football Manager CV', listing some of my notable achievements on the game over the years. After doing this, there was the small matter of finding a club to send the application to. Originally, it was going to be Grimsby Town, who'd recently sacked their manager Mike Newell, and would be perfect given their close proximity to Lincoln, but after some research, it turned out that they already had a shortlist of managers. Since my application is slightly tongue-in-cheek (to say the least), it probably would've been a bit of a waste of time.

Kettering Town were the next possibility. They were left without a manager when Mark Cooper had been snapped up by Championship side Peterborough United. I was all ready to post the letter when I read on the internet that their goalkeeper had been appointed as player-manager. Brilliant; another disappointment.

After a bit of a discussion with Bradley King, Twisted Magazine's Sports Editor, fellow Football Manager enthusiast and my assistant manager should I, for some bizarre reason, get a manager's job, we both realised we'd missed a club who had been without a manager for some time; Tranmere Rovers. After sacking former England midfielder John Barnes on the 9th of October, they had had a caretaker manager in ever since. So, Tranmere Rovers it was. The letter is on its way to the west coast as I type, although being a student I opted for a 2nd class stamp, adding to the fact that the Royal Mail is already a bit 'all over the place' at the minute, so it might just make it for Christmas.

Just for the record, I can categorically say now that I have no chance of getting the job (although, Mr Chairman, if you are reading this, I would be more than happy to take it, if offered) but I'm interested in hearing what the board have to say. Miles Jacobson, a key person in the development of Football Manager at Sports Interactive, wished me luck with my application on Twitter, but failed to give me any advice since he hasn't been a manager himself, which is fair enough.

I will do another blog if and when I receive a letter from the Tranmere board, and I'll let you know what they say. Who knows, next time I might already be at the helm of Tranmere Rovers. All I know is that I share first names with arguably the greatest manager of all time; Sir Alex Ferguson. It's fate.

Note: a version of this article was originally written for Twisted Magazine.

Spotify Playlist Duel - Take Two

Followers of my blog may remember the Spotify Playlist Duel I did with Sam in July this year. Well I've done another one, this time with Phil. He's in a band called This City Sleeps, who are good by the way - check them out, so I'm expecting a lot of guitar songs. As with the last duel, I've put a Spotify link with each song, so you can all listen for yourself.

Here goes...

A Day to Remember - The Downfall of Us All: Sounds like Fall Out Boy quite a lot, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Quite a cool chorus, although I’m not a massive fan of the screaming stuff.

Alexisonfire - Young Cardinals: Actually not that bad. Sounds like something off Guitar Hero a bit. Don’t like the first guy’s voice (that’s if there are two people singing). I’ve never actually heard anything by Alexisonfire until now, but it’s pretty much what I expected them to sound like.

All Time Low - Weightless: Kind of generic, but not too bad.

Amber Pacific - Gone So Young: Lyrics are a bit cheesy, but the song is actually quite uplifting. Probably wouldn’t listen to it again though.

Anberlin - Retrace: Sounded like the song before I thought, but still alright. Once again, the lyrics were a bit corny.

Artist Vs Poet - Runaway: My favourite song so far. Nice guitar intro, and the singer has a good voice. Reminds me of the Rocket Summer kind of. Added it to one of my Spotify playlists.

Brand New - Seventy Times 7: The singer sounded like Lil’ Chris… and that isn’t a compliment. Musically it was alright, but wasn’t anything special as a whole package.

Brett Dennen - Ain’t No Reason: A chilled-out acoustic song was a welcome change. I like it, and I will definitely listen again. Might even try to learn it actually. His voice is a bit different, but I guess that makes it good.

Chris Brown - Kiss Kiss: Wasn’t expecting to see this on Phil’s playlist at all. I already like Chris Brown, even if he does beat up his girlfriends.

Enter Shikari - Solidarity: These are another band which I’ve heard of but not heard of, if that makes sense. Not really into screamo-type stuff to be honest; didn’t like this.

Fall Out Boy - Dead On Arrival: Another song that sounds like Fall Out Boy. Oh wait…! Only really heard their more recent, commercial stuff, but this is good.

Finch - Letters To You: Generic, far too repetitive and fairly forgettable. Definitely one of the weaker songs so far on the playlist.

Foo Fighters - No Way Back: I’ve no idea why I’ve never really liked Foo Fighters. I should like them; they're very good musicians, Sam and Phil love them, and I like Dave Grohl, but without offending too many people, I find Foo Fighters a bit boring. Sorry!

Forever The Sickest Kids - Whoa Oh! (Me vs Everyone): Awful band name, but not a bad tune. Very upbeat, and fairly catchy as well. Might listen again.

Four Year Strong - Heroes Get Remembered, Legends Never Die: The chorus is good. The rest is fairly forgettable.

Hey Monday - Run, Don’t Walk: Good intro, and the girl singer has a good voice. Pretty solid musically as well. Might listen to these a bit more.

Houston Calls - Bob and Bonnie: Upbeat and energetic, but once again it’s fairly forgettable and generic. Not the worst song I’ve heard though.

Jimmy Eat World - Always Be: Only heard one song by these before – ‘The Middle’ – which is decent. So it this though; it’s fairly easy on the ear, and quite catchy.

Journey - Don’t Stop Believin’: I think Phil might’ve put this in as some kind of joke, but to be fair it’s actually not that bad. I do give it a hard time usually, but it’s a classic song, and I bet it’s made the members of Journey incredibly rich, so they won’t care what I think anyway. I’m just not the biggest fan when hearing it on a night out.

Kids In Glass Houses - Saturday: The singer does actually sound like Patrick Stump this time, and I’m not just saying that. However, it’s quite a decent tune. Pretty upbeat and catchy, and well written as well.

Limp Bizkit - Rollin’ (Air Raid Vehicle) : Only one thing to say about this song... TUNE!

Marmaduke Duke - Rubber Lover: I love this song, in fact I believe it was in my playlist to Sam. Just a really happy, pop song. Love it.

Mayday Parade - Jamie All Over: Definitely one of the better songs on the playlist. Reminds me of This City Sleeps, actually. Influenced by them perhaps??

New Found Glory - Listen To Your Friends: I know Phil raves about New Found Glory but they're a band I've never really listened to. I like this song though, it's now in one of my playlists, and I will be listening to them again.

Paramore - Where The Lines Overlap: Only heard 'Misery Business' by these, which is a great song, if slightly commercial and over-played. I know for a fact that Phil is obsessed with Hayley Williams. She's fit, I must admit, and she can sing; two plus points. This track is good, and pretty much what I expected of them. A good all-round performance.

Parkway Drive - Carrion: I reiterate my views; screaming does not do it for me, thanks.

Rob Costlow - Meant To Be: This guy was bigged up by Phil prior to the duel, and I must say, he didn't disappoint. As a player of the old 'ivories' myself, it's always nice, if not a bit depressing, to hear someone play so well. If you like Rob Costlow, check out Christopher O'Riley, he's another brilliant piano player.

Set Your Goals - Summer Jam: Good, upbeat track. Perhaps a little forgettable.

Silverstein - Apologize: I don't know which version I prefer; this or OneRepublic's. I'm siding towards this one, minus the ridiculous screaming in the middle.

Sparks The Rescue - Hello Mexico: Easily one of my favourite songs on the playlist. Just a simple, honest pop song (sorry for sounding 50 years old there, but I didn't know how else to describe it).

Story Of The Year - Until The Day I Die: Well written, but failed to really capture my attention. Might have to give them another chance though.

System Of A Down - Vicinity Of Obscenity: Not a fan.

Taking Back Sunday - Cute Without The E: A song title that stereotypically, would appeal to all the emos out there. Good song though; Gym Class Heroes like these, therefore so do I.

The Dangerous Summer - The Permanent Rain: A nice guitar intro, and a good build up leading into one of the playlist's best tracks. Never heard of these before either.

The Starting Line - The Best of Me: Good, upbeat track; the chorus stands out. The acoustic guitar is a nice addition too.

Thieves and Villains - Atlantic Lungs: Reeks of genericness, but it's bearable. Certainly not reinventing the wheel.

Third Eye Blind - Jumper: I'm sure I've heard this song before, although I can't remember where or when. I would usually insert some witticism about the reason I've heard it is due to the song's lack of individuality here, but it's quite a good song, so I won't.

Throwdown - Forever: Christ, no. Get it away from me. Possibly everything I hate, music-wise, in one song.

Underoath - Reinventing Your Exit: Another song ruined, in my opinion, by ridiculously sounding screaming in the background. Why do they do it? It sounds like they're in some form of terrible pain. Ironic really; because it's the listeners that actually are. Take away the screaming, and I might reconsider.

We The Kings - Stay Young: The final song in the playlist, and it's a bit average to be quite honest. The chorus is pretty decent though. Can imagine it'd be good to see played live.

So, that's it. My second Spotify Playlist Duel has come to an end. Another rewarding experience. Phil's review of my playlist can be found here.

Afternoon Tea: A possible cure for P.H.D. (Post Holiday Depression)

As I write this, I've been sat at home watching Sky Sports News in my boxers long enough for the same news stories to come around twice. It's just gone half past 11 and I'm still yet to achieve anything in the day (assuming that eating a bite-size Pepperami doesn't count), and to be quite honest, this makes me a bit depressed. You see, for the past 3 weeks I have been on a coach trip around Europe, seeing some of the most fantastic sites ever, and meeting some of the most amazing people that anyone could've wished for. Usually, by half past 11, we'd have had a walking tour around Berlin, or we'd have been round Vatican City, or perhaps to see the Louvre in Paris, whereas my day so far consists of waking up about 10am, checking Facebook and attempting to watch mindless television. I say 'attempting' because I'm currently finding it very difficult to watch anything on TV, purely because the majority of it is, like I said, mindless. Before the trip, I had watched every episode of Big Brother (don't judge me, please), but now, I can't watch it because it's too boring. I'm not complaining though, it's probably a good thing.

Myself and Matt were getting increasingly depressed yesterday, and so decided to go for a random drive to, in his words, "somewhere remotely European". Now, I don't know if you've ever been to Hull, but finding such place close by would actually involve crossing the channel to France, again, and as much as I would've loved to do that, it probably would've been a bit impractical considering my tea was at 7pm and it was already 3pm. So anyway, we drove off into the countryside, expecting (or rather, hoping) to find Jungfrau or any kind of mountainous scenery round every corner. Naturally, we were disappointed on each occasion, and instead had to settle for the complete and utter flatness that surrounds Hull. (Note: This is by no means a bad thing, it's just not what we wanted to see at that time). To make matters worse, we were listening, intentionally, to songs that reminded us of being on the PARTY BUS! and ones that made us feel even more depressed ('No Woman, No Cry' was almost a real tearjerker). Thankfully, I held back the tears and managed to get us safely to a quaint little pub where we stopped for afternoon tea and a scone. Incredibly European, I know, but nevertheless, it momentarily made us un-depressed. A good result I'd say.

To be fair, the scones were REALLY good, as you can tell from Matt's chuftness.

I was going to go into detail about the trip, and do the clichéd 'favourite moments' thing. I did start like that but after 3 paragraphs we hadn't even got into Dover yet and plus, I'd probably end up jumping off the Humber Bridge from clinical depression if I had to relive all the amazingly good moments. (For anyone who doesn't know, the Humber Bridge is probably Hull's most famous landmark (alongside The Deep, 'the world's only submarium', woo!) and also a cheap and simple form of suicide). Anyway, on a lighter note, I would have to say that the past 3 weeks were the best 3 weeks of my life, and the whole thing was undoubtedly the 'Trip of a Lifetime'. It will definitely be very, very hard to ever beat it.

Same again next year then, guys?

Spotify Playlist Duel

Myself and Sam were talking about our often differing musical taste the other day, and we came up with the idea of having a Play(list)-Off. The idea is simple; we both create a 40 track playlist on Spotify which would typify our musical taste (more or less). We'd then send the playlist to each other, listen to all the songs, write a blog about our experiences, and hopefully come out the back of the 'experiment' with a broader view into the world of music, (or in Sam's case, lose the tag of being the kid who listens only to 1980s 'Cheese Rock' bands, such as Journey, Boston and Rainbow). I'll run through each track one-by-one and tell you all what I think of them. If you do have Spotify, click on the song names and it will take you to the song! Technology, eh! Anyway, here goes...

Hash Pipe - Weezer: One of only four Weezer songs I'm aware of. Not too bad, but probably is a bit out-of-date now.

Knights of Cydonia (Live) - Muse: I can't play this song on Guitar Hero III very well, so for that reason, I'm not that much of a fan. Muse are, in my opinion, an average band at the best of times with a few good songs.

Don't Stop Believin' - Journey: What a surprise. Sam says he put this song in as a joke, but somehow I don't believe him. To be fair to Journey, it isn't a bad song, but there's a time and a place for them. I haven't actually worked out when this time or where this place is yet though. It even gets annoying in a nightclub when drunk, which says it all really.

Lonely Train - Black Stone Cherry: Saw these support Nickelback, and they were alright actually. Not usually a fan of this kind of music but this and 'Blind Man' are good tracks.

Walk Idiot Walk - The Hives: Nice bass line, but that's about it.

No Brains - Sum 41: Upbeat and foot-tapping, although I do find that a lot of Sum 41's songs sound fairly similar.

Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden: Probably my least favourite song on the playlist. Yes, even behind Journey. It's slow, there's no kick to it and it's fairly forgettable. In fact, I can't even remember how it goes.

My Own Worst Enemy - Lit: Never heard of these before, but this isn't a bad song. Sounds a bit like Good Charlotte, or any other American Alternative Rock band for that matter.

Cheer Up - Reel Big Fish: I need to thank Sam for reminding me about Reel Big Fish because I keep meaning to listen to them more, but keep forgetting. I will definitely listen more now though. Really good, upbeat song.

1979 - The Smashing Pumpkins: It's weird; I didn't expect Smashing Pumpkins to sound like this. I expected them to be a bit more heavy I think, so automatically didn't give the song much hope. I like the layering, and it's quite a good song to be fair.

Sell Out - Reel Big Fish: One of my favourite songs on the playlist, reiterating the fact I need to listen to them more!

Papercut - Linkin Park: I've only really heard the songs they do with Jay-Z but this isn't that bad really. Might have to give them a bit more of a listen.

Cochise - Audioslave: Don't particularly like the dark introduction. Guitar riff is good though. I can see why Sam likes this song; it's very 70s influenced. However, it is fairly forgettable.

Heart-Shaped Box - Nirvana: Quite a classic.

Even Flow - Pearl Jam: Another average song off Guitar Hero. Chorus is ok though.

You're Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring: Once again, I was surprised by this song. I thought The Offspring were heavier than this. This could be an anomaly in their back-catalogue though I suppose. Even so, I do quite like it.

Just a Girl - No Doubt: Gwen Stefani is attractive, in a bit of a weird way though. It depends what day it is as well, sometimes she looks a bit rough. Anyway, back to the song: it's upbeat and foot-tapping. Sam can obviously relate to the lyrics; "Late at night I'm just a girl, guess I'm some kind of freak, 'cause they all sit and stare, with their eyes".

The Hell Song - Sum 41: Haven't we already had this song? Oh no, my mistake. To be fair though, it isn't that bad. It does have a good chorus.

Once & For All - Foo Fighters: I don't want to offend Sam too much by disliking this song, because he worships the Foos almost as much as Nickelback, but I have to say, it is a bit boring. Needs a bit of a kick as well, it seems a bit slow. There's another two Foo Fighters songs on the playlist so my opinion may change. We shall see!

My Direction - Sum 41: Same old, same old, I'm afraid! I don't dislike it though.

3's and 7's - Queens of the Stone Age: Yet again, a song off Guitar Hero. I'm starting to see a pattern. It's a good song though, and the guitar riff is class. I don't know enough of the band to form an overall opinion though.

Walkie Talkie Man - Steriogram: A bit of a messy arrangement I think. One of the weaker songs on the playlist.

Real World - The All-American Rejects: Quite a good, upbeat song, but it is fairly generic. The chorus is catchy, and the lyrics are simple enough to remember, which is a good thing.

All My Best Friends Are Metalheads - Less Than Jake: As with Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake are another band that I need to listen to more of, so once again, thank you Sam for reminding me about them!

Superman - Stereophonics: Not entirely sure why Sam put Stereophonics on his playlist, as he already knows I'm a big fan. He says it was so I knew he liked them too, but I already knew that. Anyway, this is a good song, although they do have a lot of better songs.

Country Girl - Primal Scream: I think the 'Scream' part of their name made me think Primal Scream were something they weren't. I once again expected something heavier. I need to stop making assumptions. I have heard this song before, but I didn't realise they sung it.

DOA - Foo Fighters: This is better than the other Foo Fighters song I heard earlier, but I still don't know what the fuss is all about.

Pistol Grip Pump - Rage Against The Machine: Way too repetitive; there's only so many times you can say "Pistol Grip Pump" in a song, and they have overdone quite spectacularly it in this song.

Hysteria - Muse: Good bass line; I might try and learn it. As with the first Muse track though, it is an average song.

City Hall / Malibu Nights - Tenacious D: I already like the D, but Sam says he put it in so we could reminisce about our trip to see Nickelback in Sheffield (we played it in Sam's car as we were on the Ouse bridge I believe). They are the kings of comedic rock, without a doubt.

The Middle - Jimmy Eat World: Didn't realise this song was by Jimmy Eat World. It's quite good, albeit fairly generic again.

Bulls on Parade - Rage Against The Machine: Another song off Guitar Hero. I thought Spotify had got it wrong and that this was actually 'Killing in the Name', until Sam corrected me.

Everlong - Foo Fighters: Well written, but I'm just not a fan.

My Friends Over You - New Found Glory: Upbeat and foot-tapping. Probably won't be listening to these by choice though.

Mr. Writer - Stereophonics: Sam, you're preaching to the converted!

Whisky in the Jar - Thin Lizzy: Goes on way too long. Lost interest after about a minute.

Once - Pearl Jam: Weird introduction that doesn't really fit with the song. Very forgettable.

Longview - Green Day: I prefer Green Day's non-commericalised songs (i.e. not 'American Idiot'). Probably one of the best bass lines in recent years.

You Don't Know - Reel Big Fish: I haven't heard a bad song from Reel Big Fish yet. Very upbeat and very catchy.

Oxygen - Willy Mason: For some reason, I thought Willy Mason was a wrestler, but it turns out he's not. One of my favourite songs on the playlist, and a fitting way to end this 'experiment'.

So, there you have it. I've listened to, and given my opinion on 40 songs that apparently typified Sam's musical taste. I still think that he listens to an unhealthy amount of 80s rock, but according to his playlist, he likes at least 39 non-80s-cheese-rock songs (excluding Journey, which I still don't think was a joke by the way). Reel Big Fish and Less Than Jake are the two stand-out picks I reckon, but there were also a few other good songs, and some songs that surprised me. However, I am still not a converted Foo Fighter, much to Sam's dismay I assume. I do think we could be onto something with this Playlist-off though, so if it does ever become international, Sam Axon and Alex Blackburne will gladly take 12.5% (each) of the earnings.

Animals

It may be a bit overdue, but I am back with another installment after over 3 months in the blogging wilderness. I do apologise for my unintentional and unplanned hiatus, but I've had loads of exams (one) and several assessments to do for University. I've finished everything and I'm back in Hull now so I thought I'd crack open a can of Emerge (a cheaper, more deadly version of Red Bull) and sit down to write a blog post.

Myself, Sam and Fozz are going to see Nickelback next week at Sheffield Arena. We've had the tickets a week or so, but since then I just cannot stop listening to them. The title of this post refers to possibly one of my favourite songs of all time, Animals. For those of you who haven't heard it, and have Spotify, here's the link...

http://open.spotify.com/track/6Bi7ug9F2eetHXDiAU2SBd

The lyrics are so, so good. Basically it's about a guy and a girl sneaking out and "gettin' busy" in the guy's car, only to be caught by the girl. Brilliant. Nickelback are, in my opinion, wrongly hated by many people (mainly those who base their views on 'How You Remind Me' and 'Hero', the Spiderman soundtrack). Give them a chance, you never know, you might enjoy them.

Since my last post, we've also booked a holiday for this summer; a 21-day coach trip round Europe, covering 9 countries, camping in a different place each night. I cannot wait.

Also, if you have Twitter, please feel free to follow me...

http://twitter.com/alexbrfc

Just a quick one

I hope you all haven't missed me too much since my last thrilling installment here, but I've been pre-occupied my my other blog (a football-based blog, 'Left Back in the Changing Room', which I set up for my Uni course). You can find it here:

http://leftbackinthechangingroom.wordpress.com/

I will be back soon with my usual array of quirky anecdotes and opinions which I know you, my adoring fans, love.

Thank you, and goodnight.

p.s. if you happened to have stumbled upon this blog for the first time, and this is the first post you've read, then I don't think I do have any 'adoring fans' just yet (not that I know of anyway. Incidentally, if you are an adoring fan, please message me). It was said kind of sarcastically; so I hope it hasn't put you off!

There's snow place like home!

Firstly, please excuse the terrible pun in the title. I just couldn't resist. So yes, this week's news has revolved around the adverse weather conditions we've had, with the majority of the country getting at least a light covering of the white stuff (that's snow, not milk). Personally, I'm not too keen on it though. I used to love it, but since I've got older, the novelty of it has worn off and now it's just annoying and causes havoc. Don't get me wrong, I used to like a good old-fashioned snowball fight as much as the next young whippersnapper, but not so much nowadays.

Incidentally, "whippersnapper" is a word I've never actually had to spell, and I actually had to Google it, just to check that I'd got it right. On the subject of words I've never had to spell, "Jiminy", the name of the anthropomorphic Cricket from 'Pinnochio', is another. Nobody is called "Jiminy" though. I mean, you hear about all these babies called "Jack" or "Thomas" or "Stan", but never "Jiminy". It's strange really; some names just never come back into fashion, although it's debatable that "Jiminy" was ever in fashion in the first place.

Going back to the snow, I remember once building an igloo in my back garden with a few friends. It really was amazing, and I definitely recommend the activity to you if it happens to snow again in the near future. All you need is one or two ice-cream boxes, plenty of snow, some good friends, determination and the will to succeed. Sorry for sounding like a cross between Winston Churchill and Neil Buchanan there by the way. So anyway, simply fill the ice-cream boxes up with snow and use them like bricks. It's fairly straightforward.

Once again I seemed to have gone off on a tangent, but to be fair I didn't really have a particular discourse in mind when I started writing this post. It could've been solely about snow, so count yourself lucky that I expressed my views on the name "Jiminy". Have fun building igloos, which I'm sure you will do, and I will be back sometime in the near future with another thrilling installment.

Ciao!

Guess who's back...

Yes, it's true. I have posted a new blog after my 6 week blogging exile over the Christmas holidays, which incidentally were good, albeit not as 'magical' as when I was a kid. For the record, I once again didn't get a Stretch Armstrong, but as I explained in the last post, I'm not too bothered about that now.

I didn't really make any New Years resolutions this year. Not that I usually do; I would like to tell you that I take the view that I don't have anything to give up or anything to do more often, but the truth is I actually like doing the stuff I'm doing now, so why should I stop? The only thing that could possibly class as a resolution is the fact that I've said to myself (and Loz) that I'm going to go to the gym more often, and even go running, just to get rid of the excess baggage from Christmas, caused by chocolate, sweets, mince pies and a fair bit of alcohol. It's not 'set in stone' as such, but hopefully I'll carry it through. I don't know how successful this new regime will be in the long run, but I've already been to the gym twice. So far, so good I think!

I'm not sure what else to write really. I only posted this to let you, my adhering fans, know that I am still alive and well, which I am. So yeah, I promise to write another enthralling chapter in my blog very soon, which will hopefully have more content and meaning than this one, in which I have actually started to ramble on and most probably bore you, so I will sign off shortly, and sweetly.

Bye.

Jim should've fixed it, because Santa definitely failed

Some of you may be wondering where I've been for the past 11 days. Some of you may not have been wondering this. For those who are interested, I've had so much Uni work to do that Blogging had to move down my list of priorities, behind the work itself, Football Manager and Nickelback's new album.

I'm finally feeling kind of Christmassy too. Due to my humongous work load, I haven't really been in the mood for it to be honest, but now that it's all over and done with I'm well up for it. However, I'm beginning to think that Santa isn't doing his job properly because I've had a Stretch Armstrong on my Christmas list for the past 10 years or so, and I still haven't got one. I mean, how good did he look on the adverts?! I was envious beyond belief of those "perfect" American kids who seemed to be having hours of fun with Mr. Armstrong, fighting crime and tying him up in knots. He seemed to stretch for miles too. Thing is though, I probably would've been let down by it if I had of received it as a gift, because let's face it, nothing is as good in real-life as it is in adverts. Here's proof...



Just look how happy they look, and how amazingly fun it looks to play with Stretch! I mean, who wouldn't want one of those really! As I said though, the likelihood is that after a long stretching session on Christmas Day, Mr. Armstrong would just be a long floppy mess the next day. This is why I believe it is better to have dreamt about all the good times I could've had with him, rather than had a couple of good days stretching. So yeah, I don't want a Stretch Armstrong anymore. I'm clearly over it.

Before I go, I was told a few weeks ago that Space Raiders, every British child's favourite crisps, known for their distinctive flavour, wacky shapes and most of all, the fact that they're only 10p, have gone up in price. They're now 15p, which for those without an A in GCSE Maths, is a whole 5p more than before! I'll leave you all now, for that ridiculous fact to sink in, and before you get too angry.

We shall fight on the beaches... and in Lincolnshire, near a little village called Kettlethorpe

I've come to the the decision that I don't really want to be in the Army or the Navy, or the RAF, or any other war-based profession for that matter. This conclusion came to me whilst I was knelt in the mud behind a wooden board, dressed in camouflage overalls and protective mask and carrying a gun loaded with 100 paintballs. I was knelt there, along with 20-or-so other would-be soldiers, waiting for the other team to come and attempt a siege on "the Island" on which we were guarding. It reminded me of something off Lord of the Rings; we could see them all running at us through the trees like a bunch of slightly more unattractive Orcs.

It's not that Paintballing wasn't fun, because it was. It's just, I couldn't help but be a little apprehensive and hesitant when it came down to confronting the opposition. It's not that I was scared of getting hit, it's just war isn't really my "scene" to be honest. I wouldn't really fancy it if we were called up to do National Service tomorrow (Mr Brown, if you're reading this blog, please cross me off your list). I've got too much on my plate as it is to think about killing people and that. Anyway, it was a relatively successful day. No major injuries to speak of, although I ache a little bit now. Through the course of the day, I got hit "properly" three times, once by Matt, who was on my side. It was Rob's fault that happened though really. He shouted, "there's one over here Matt", pointing right where we were standing in the not-so-safe "Safe Zone". I didn't cry that much though.

I should also mention that on Saturday night I had possibly one of the worst nights sleep ever. Well, it was uncomfortable, but I was sharing a single bed with Matt which was kind of cosy really. Rob and Sam drew the short straws, and had to sleep next to each other on the floor, which was apparently also uncomfortable. We ended up going through Sam's contact list on his Phone and ringing random people (including a couple of Canadians, who didn't answer even though it would have been a relatively "normal" time for phone calls in their neck of the woods). If we rang you in the early hours of Sunday morning, and you're reading this, then I'm sorry for any inconvenience we caused to you.

All in all, it was a good weekend. I've never appreciated a single bed all to myself before though. Anyway, I must leave it there. I've got loads of work to do, and shouldn't be spending my time blogging...

See you all tomorrow then!

The Clichéd Winter Blog

OK, I know what you're all thinking; "Where has Alex been for the past 3 days?! Why hasn't he written a blog?! Doesn't he know that some people thrive off knowing his daily thoughts and feelings?!" To answer all these questions in one sentence, I've been in Lincoln for the past 3 days, I haven't written a blog because I've had no motivation and nothing interesting has happened in my life since the last one, and yes I appreciate the fact that people want to know my thoughts and feelings but there's no point writing just for the sake of it. Phew! Glad I cleared that up.

(Note: I sincerely hope there isn't anyone out there who has been thinking any of these things. That would just be weird...)

So back to this blog. It's winter now, well almost anyway, but it's still bloody cold! I'm sat here in my room typing this, and I can't feel my right hand (my "mouse hand". I've been sitting on my comparatively useless left hand to keep it warm). I've also just realised that I've got my window wide open and my radiator isn't on. Well, I say "wide open"; the windows at Uni only open about three inches. We haven't had snow here unfortunately. Everywhere except Lincoln it seems. Typical.

One thing that is good about Uni is that there isn't hundreds of little kids running around with snowballs like there was at school. Don't get me wrong, I like a good old-fashioned snowball fight as much as the next guy, but there's a time and a place isn't there. I didn't mind getting hit with snowballs, as long as I was expecting it. I hated being caught unawares by them though. I must say at this point that I was going to tell you about the time I got hit by an ice ball in my French class at school, which would back up my point about being hit unexpectedly, but then I realised that it wasn't me who got hit, it was someone else. Incidentally, and also a bit off-topic, I once got hit on my head by a flying piece of pottery, also in my French class. Ahh, the good old days...

Global warming is the increase in the average measured temperature of the Earth's near-surface air and oceans...

As promised, this blog is going to be about a topic "everybody is interested in, like Global Warming or something." Global Warming it is then! (For the record, the title is from Wikipedia. I do not own the copyright for that explanation, nor did I originally write it. Don't sue me...)

Right, so the world is melting. Good news for the amphibious folk among us then, yeah? Unfortunately we 'regular' humans don't have gills or webbed feet (well, some people do, but generally we don't, do we?). This would probably cause a minor problem if we were submerged underwater for the rest of our lives. It would be like that film with Kevin Costner, Waterworld, where only a few people would survive and the world would be full of pirates and other sea-dwelling groups. But at least we'd have Mount Everest to live on, I'm sure all 6billion of the world's current inhabitants would be able to fit on there. It could be a bit of a squeeze, but yeah, I reckon we'd manage.

Changing the topic slightly, I've been told to be more 'controversial' in my blogs to get more people reading them (you see, already I'm getting 'requests'). One of the topics mentioned was the death penalty. Now, I don't have any real opinion on this matter, but I said I would talk about it, which I'm doing now I guess. Should we bring it back? I honestly don't know. Maybe we should 'get rid' of the proper big-time criminals (i.e. murderers, not people who have nicked a handbag off an old woman), and then there might be less crimes going around. But I think if we were to bring Capital Punishment back, then we should make it into a Saturday Night TV Gameshow. I can see it now. Jim Davidson would present it, and all these serial killers would have to do certain tasks, whilst wearing funny items of clothing (i.e. Hull FC shirts, ballerina outfits, that kind of thing), but in each task, whoever comes last gets killed in a 'funny' kind of way. I've not thought of any 'funny' deaths as yet, but any suggestions would be welcome.

So that's my prediction for the future. We'll all end up living on Everest (the mountain) like one big happy family whilst Jim Davidson went around whipping people to death with wet tea towels. It'd be fun. I'm actually looking forward to it now. Anyone up for house sharing?

Meet Karl

For the past week or so, I've been addicted to listening to three men talking to each other about topics so random that even Mystic Meg wouldn't be able to predict what they're going to come out with next. The three men in question are Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington.

I was introducted to the trio by Loz, who has been listening to their various radio shows and podcasts for a while, and I'd noticed this. He sent me one of their 'special' one-off shows, for NME Radio, and I literally laughed out loud (LOL'd) at it. Saying that, I still 'LOL' at it now, even though I must've listened to that particular show about five times already.

More or less everyone in Britain must know who Ricky Gervais is by now. You know, he's that fat guy who dances funny, that's him. Stephen Merchant is also fairly famous. He's the tall one with glasses, off 'Extras'. Yeah, you know the one. Anyway, so these two are pretty famous and worked on a radio show for XFM a few years ago. After 'The Office', which they both wrote together, they went back to XFM "as conquering heroes" and basically couldn't be bothered to run the desk, or push any buttons. This is where Karl Pilkington comes in...

Karl is known 'affectionately' as the "little bald Manc t**t" or "the shaven monkey with a head like a f***ing orange". Thing is though, despite his abnormal, completely spherical shaped head and his lack of intelligence, Karl is actually one of the most unwittingly funny people you will ever come across. I don't think there is much more I can say about him to be honest, but I definitely think you should YouTube him or go on www.pilkipedia.co.uk to download some of the radio shows.

Anyway, I'm going to leave it there now. This blog topic seemed like a good idea to start with, but it kind of turned into a mini-biography or review. Sorry. But yeah, I just had to 'spread the word' further, and share my enjoyment with you lot, that's all. I promise the next blog will definitely be about a topic everybody is interested in, like Global Warming or something.

See you all soon!

P.S. Don't worry, I'm not going to write about Global Warming, unless between now and my next blog, the Polar Ice-Caps completely melt, which I completely doubt...

In the beginning...

Right, hello and welcome to my newly-established blog. I thought I should start doing something comparatively productive with my spare time, and since I'm doing Journalism at Uni, blogging seemed the easy road to go down. Hopefully you'll enjoy reading them as much as I'll hopefully enjoy writing them (I'm using 'you' on the basis that someone is actually reading this by the way...).

Although I may sound fairly confident and professional (ahem...), this is actually the first blog I've ever written; I'm a blog virgin, you could say. However I think I've learnt some vital skills from probably the best (and only) blogger I know; my good friend, Sam Axon. His blogs on MySpace gave me endless laughter, and I hope one day to be as good as him. Incidentally, I managed to persuade him to 'come out of blogging retirement', so to speak, and he's writing his own blog on this very site as I am typing this! I use the word 'persuade' pretty loosely; it didn't really take much persuasion; I basically linked him to this website and said, "You should start blogging again" and he said "OK".

So yeah, I'm not exactly sure what else to talk about in this introductory blog, so I think I'm just gonna 'wrap it up', as they say in the business (apparently). I'll be back soon with more, ciao for now!